Motivation

I’ve attended conferences, went on retreats, and read books, all intended to motivate me to achieving my goals.  But when the conferences, retreats, and books were behind me, it didn’t stick for long.  The motivation withered and there I was again, not knowing how I was going to reach the goal I had in mind. 

But why did the motivation wither?  I was fired up, ready to go, and dove headfirst working towards accomplishing my goals.  I knew what I wanted to achieve and stayed on the path but eventually, it became overgrown with weeds, and I lost sight of it. 

Maybe it’s because I really didn’t know what I wanted.  Maybe I didn’t think I could do it, or that I wasn’t good enough to do it, or maybe I didn’t deserve it.  Maybe it was because what I thought I wanted wasn’t right for me, so I gave up.  I became a replica of “The Thinker” statue.

I could listen to, attend, and read everything about motivation until I was blue in the face, but when it comes down to it?  I’m the only one that can make myself achieve and succeed.

I realized that I am my motivation.

It’s in the things I’ve accomplished and experienced, things I am proud of.  I just didn’t factor them into the process.  I took a look back and reminisced on what I’ve accomplished.  For crying out loud, I wrote a book!  I’m a photographer, I’ve held high level positions that took me to Europe, South Korea, and Tanzania.  I still can’t believe I was that fortunate.  I was on the Oprah Winfrey show and included in documentaries.  I was a part of a research team bringing to life the BrainPort that not only changed my life, but it’s also changing the lives of many people with balance and vision loss.  From my time on the farm to right now, my life has been incredibly amazing and for that I will be eternally grateful.     

So, it turns out that it isn’t just one thing that motivated me, it’s been all that I have accomplished. Each led to another because one couldn’t stand alone, the others had to be a part of it.  Some showed up when one didn’t cut it, some showed up in a blaze of glory.  Every single thing I’ve experienced played a role in where I am now.  And those I’ve yet to experience, will be a part of my journey to my next accomplishment. 

I am my greatest motivator.