Wow, things sure did change.  Not just some things, everything, from the ground beneath my feet to the sky and everything in between. 

I changed.  From the death of the microscopic place in my inner ear it travelled  throughout the whole of my body eating at me away until I disappeared, until I was gone.

Or, until I thought I was gone.

But I wasn’t.  I could see myself in the mirror, see my surroundings, taste an apple, and darn if I couldn’t feel the bruises from falling and bumping into things trying to stay upright.  So, yep, still here.

It took me a while to understand that who I was before I was introduced to disability was still a part of me, just a bit different, well, a lot different.  My experiences, strength, my knowledge, and all my lessons learned, still here.  They have been my constant companions as I continue this journey I call letting my light shine.  However, I had to stop hanging on to the spinning thoughts that everything was over for me to let it glow.

I wonder what would’ve happened to me if I hadn’t let go.  Most likely I’d still be stuck in the muck of asking myself why this happened to me.  Which I’m positive would’ve made it impossible to let go of the things I can’t change and impossible to embrace all I had waiting for me beyond my question why.  There are no answers to that question.  It served only to hold me in the muck of constant sorrow.  I shudder to think of how that would have caused me to miss all the amazing things I have experienced. 

Nothing that caused us pain in the past can be changed.  But how wonderful it is to know that in our past all the beautiful, amazing, happy, warm, loving, exciting, and successful experiences we’ve have can’t either. Each of those beautifully sculpted our strength, knowledge, curiosity, ability, love, and compassion into who we are and will never waiver as our constant companions.  What an extraordinary privilege it is to have them at our side as we continue on our journey.  Let’s hold their hands and sculpt new experiences to join us.

Be well my friends and let your beautiful light shine.

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2 Comments

  1. Rosemary Lehman says:

    You are so inspiring, Cheryl! 💕

    1. Cheryl Schiltz says:

      You are so kind, Rosemary 💕

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